Chelsea Barr-rajkumar

• Becoming Chelsea • I’m Not Hiding Anymore • Unmasking Me • Running Toward Light • Seen at Last

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“This is Why I Run”

 — Chelsea’s Story

I’m Chelsea. I’m 15. I’m autistic.

But before I ever knew what “autistic” meant…

I just knew I was different.

Not special.

Not gifted.

Not brave.

Just different.

And sometimes… that felt like being wrong.

I’ve heard adults say things like,

“She’s too sensitive.”

“She’s being dramatic.”

“She just wants attention.”

But what they didn’t see —

Was a little girl holding in tears so long her chest ached.

Was a teenager clenching her fists so tight under the table just to sit still.

Was a child trying to translate the world when it came at her a thousand miles an hour.

They didn’t see how hard I was trying.

And I got tired of trying.

Sometimes I disappear in a room full of people.

Sometimes I shut down because everything is too loud — even the kindness.

Sometimes I cry, and I don’t even know why.

I’ve been told to “just toughen up.”

I’ve been told “you’re embarrassing.”

I’ve been told, “stop acting weird.”

So I learned to mask.

To hide my stims.

To force a smile.

To fake calmness while I was falling apart inside.

And no one knew.

Because I got good at hiding.

Too good.

But here’s what I need you to know:

Behind every “quiet” autistic girl is a storm of exhaustion.

Behind every meltdown is a heart trying not to break.

Behind every smile is someone wondering if it’s safe to be herself.

So now I’m doing something I never thought I’d do.

I’m standing up.

I’m running.

Not for fitness.

Not for fun.

But for freedom.

For every child who’s ever curled up in their bed thinking:

“Why am I like this?”

For every parent who’s heard their child say:

“I don’t want to be here anymore.”

For every misunderstood soul who feels like they’re drowning in a world that won’t slow down for them.

I run for the kids who have no words to explain their pain.

I run for the teens who are misdiagnosed, overlooked, and exhausted.

I run for me —

For the girl I was, and for the girl I’m still becoming.

This isn’t just a run.

This is a fight.

For understanding.

For support.

For a future where being autistic doesn’t mean being afraid.

Please — if you’ve ever loved a child like me,

If you’ve ever wished the world was gentler,

If you’ve ever wanted to do something…

Let this be it.

Donate.

Share.

Help me turn my story into someone else’s survival.

With every breath, every step, every tear —

I run for the ones still hiding.

Love,

Chelsea 💙